My life.

Hello July!

Yesterday started out well, but didn’t end healthily. I had a big mushroom, bacon, cheese burger with sweet potato fries, and a small beer. I think I made better choices then I could have, but I really didn’t need a big burger. I did take a step and yoga class yesterday, so that was good. And I didn’t have any binges yesterday.

Today I am going to pilates and spin (or maybe Nia). As for food, I’m running out of food in my house, so I won’t be able to do too much damage! We’ll see.

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty nice day. I had time to workout and take a nap. I got to help a friend and have a few people over for dinner. AND since both of my girl friends that came over  are both concerned about their weight everyone was happy that I only served a salad. It was a big delicious totally healthy fajita salad, but it was a simple salad none the less.

Flynn is out of town again. He’ll be back on Friday. That’s the last work trip he has planned for the year. I miss him. But I haven’t been eating my feelings like I did the last time he left town.

Today I had a breakfast burrito for breakfast (with fewer than 300 calories). Then I went to the gym and took a step class. They had a sub teaching and I couldn’t hear a word she said. I was going in circles for most of the class, but I got an OK workout in. After step, I took a yoga class. It was a beginner class, but that was good. My muscles needed a break from yesterday’s pilates and kickboxing. I feel pretty relaxed and could really take a nap right now. But I have a client in an hour so I’ll have to wait until later this afternoon.

For lunch I made a tuna melt. It was very filling and delicious (though close to 500 calories w/ an apple on the side).

I still can’t believe it’s almost July. It just boggles my mind.

Holy moly! Is it really the 29th already?! Wow. That’s crazy. Where did the month go?

I’ve spent the vast majority of this month stressing out about work and money. It hasn’t really gotten me anywhere.

As far as my weight goes, I’ve gained this month. I’ve exercised sporatically and over eaten often. I’m hoping to flip that. Today I’m going to pilates, kickboxing, and core conditioning. Tomorrow, I’ll run. Wednesday I’ll go to another set of classes and Thursday, I’ll run again. That’s the plan for now.

Yesterday was so ridiculous food-wise that I’m not even going to list it. I babysat for 8 hours yesterday so I ate a lot of foods there that I don’t eat at home like mac and cheese. When I got home I was so tired and emotionally drained that I just kept eating. The annoying thing is that I knew what I as doing the entire time. I would think to myself, “I’m not hungry, but I feel like crap so I’m going to have another bowl of cereal. I’m going to regret this tomorrow.” I was depressed thinking about my future and lack of career so I ate and ate and ate… I was at least 400 calories over budget yesterday and I didn’t have time to go for a run like I had planned. Actually, I suppose I could have gone running instead of spending the evening eating… but I didn’t.

Today is a new day. I had a sensible breakfast. My outlook about my future isn’t as bleak. And I have plans to go for a run this afternoon. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am OK.

9:30a: 1 tortilla, 1/4 cup mozzarella, 1/4 cup egg substitute, 1/4 cup bell pepper, 1/8 cup onion, 1 tbsp salsa = 245 calories Yum! This was a tasty flavor filled breakfast!

12:30p: 1/2 Organic Bistro frozen meal, 3/4 cup frosted flakes, 1/2 cup hemp milk = 400 calories I would have eaten the whole frozen meal, but the cats got to it while I was checking on a crying baby!

2:00p: 1 mile walk pushing stroller

3:15p: 5 mile jog/walk (in 1 hour) I’m surprised by how great this felt! I haven’t run in a few weeks, but I wasn’t huffing and puffing and my legs weren’t dying!

4:15p: 10min jumping rope.

6:00p: 1 artichoke, 2 tbsp lite mayo = 176 calories

9:00p: 2 tortillas, 1 cup bell pepper, 1 oz chicken, 1/2 oz pepper jack cheese, 2 tbsp salsa = 333 calories

10:00p: 2 skinny cow Skinny Dippers = 160 calories

I am really pleased with my eating today! I was in complete control through out the day and never starving! I at 1315 calories today. That’s quite a bit under budget! Plus my exercise today burned about 620 calories. This was a good day!

Tomorrow I am babysitting for seven whole hours. It’s going to be exhausting! Afterward I’m going for a run.

9:00a: 1/2 cup bran flakes, 1/2 cup raisin bran, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1 cup milk = 367 calories

1:00p: 2 rice cakes, 2 tbsp Better’n Peanut Butter, 1 banana = 305 calories This snack turned out surprisingly well! I am not usually a peanut butter and banana gal, but this is a good mix. Better’n Peanut Butter has nearly half the calories of normal peanut butter and the same texture. The taste is a little different but with the sweetness of the apple cinnamon rice cake and the flavor of the banana it all worked together really well. This is a very satisfying snack. I’d usually have lunch now, but I’m going to push it back so that I can have dinner with Flynn later tonight. He gets of work at 6p (which is when I’d want dinner if I had a 1p lunch) and he won’t want to eat until at least 8p. This should keep me fueled for a few more hours.

3:50p: 2 cup lettuce, 1oz hamburger,  2 tbsp salsa = 102 calories

6:30p: 1/4 trail mix =  87 calories

8:30p: salad w/ ranch and two slices of pizza = 901 calories

I ate 1882 calories today. That’s 182 more than I’m supposed to eat. Plus I didn’t exercise today. My knee has been hurting me lately so I took it easy. Tomorrow I will be under budget for calories and I’ll get in a good work out. Honest.

I’m not working today and it’s been hard on me so far. I work part time here and there so my schedule is pretty sporadic. But today is the first day in several weeks that I have had a whole day with nothing planned. So after my boyfriend left for work this morning, I’ve just been hanging out at home.

I know there are things I could be doing (running, swimming, or lifting at the gym, lifting at home, cleaning, studying, etc) but so far all I’ve really done is hung out online. And I need to change that soon.

My friend just invited me to go to Hawaii with her in August. Because there is a sale going on, she already has a free ticket, and she has an aunt we could stay with we could each go for for under $200 not counting food and activities. That’s such an amazing deal! But I can’t do it. I just can’t. Because I’m working so sporadicly I can’t spend $200 that I don’t have on on a vacation that I want (not need). I don’t even have the money to pay my rent at the end of the month. Also, I need brakes for my truck, so I should be saving for that. Then I got to thinking about other trips that I need to take. Like I need to go to Arizona and visit my friends and family there. I left over a year and a half ago (after living there for 6 years) and haven’t been back yet. I miss everyone. And I could get there and back and have places to stay for about the same cost as Hawaii. But I still don’t have the money for that. It’s so depressing.

I can’t wait to have regular income again, but I don’t know when that will be. I’m working as a trainer, but my checks are up and down all the time and I babysit, so money slowly rolls in there. I need to figure out a budget/plan for the summer. That sounds like a productive use of my time. I have to do something until I can start substitute teaching again in the Fall.

All I know is that lounging around the house in my PJs all dayis a quick trip to depression. I better get moving!

7:40a: 1 cup bran flake, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1 cup milk = 228 calories

8:15a: pilates.

9:35: kickboxing.

10:30a: core conditioning.

1:00p: 3/4 cup cheerios, 1/4 cup Ezekiel 4:9, 1 cup hemp milk =  308 calories

2:00p: 1 hr walk pushing stroller

4:30p: 1 banana = 90 calories

6:00p: 1/2 mahi mahi wrap = 291 calories

7:00p: 10min jog w/ client.

9:00p: taco salad: 4 cups lettuce, 1/2 cup black beans, 1oz pepper jack cheese, 1/8 cup tomato, 4 tbsp salsa, 1 1/2 oz hamburger, 12 tortilla chips, 2 tbsp bean dip = 475 calories I ate way more than I needed and kept grazing after I had finished my plate. Next time I should put away the food when everyone is done eating it instead of picking at it throughout the evening.

10:00p: 1 skinny dipper, a bunch of gobstoppers =  238 calories I don’t even like gobstoppers but I just kept putting them in my mouth! arg! I was playing Trivial Pursuit with my friends and I was doing horribly so I just kept eating. What a silly reason, right?

In the end, I was 218 calories over my goal. I did get in about 1073 calories worth of exercise though…

Weighed in this morning at 149.4lbs. That gets me back to where I was a month ago before Flynn and I went on a week long, super unhealthy road trip from Chicago to Seattle. I’m feeling really good though. I’m rarely hungry and my hips and stomach are slowly melting away!

10:00a: two large strawberries, three apple slices, 1/2 a cranberry bagel, < 1 packet of cream cheese = 204 calories I am usually very tempted by the danishes or croissants at church. Not to mention that I usually have breakfast right before so I basically have two. Today I didn’t eat anything before church and then I made good choices. Now it’s 11:37a and I’m feeling pretty hungry. If I wasn’t going out to lunch with my Dad and Flynn at noon, I would be chowing down right now. Knowing what my lunch plans were before I started my day really made the difference. Otherwise I might have had three whole meals all really close to one another. Planning is key!!

12:30p: 1/2 mahi mahi wrap, 1 cup vegetable beef soup with couscous, 1 cup french fries with ketchup = 795 calories This was a delicious meal, but I need to figure out how to eat at this restaurant without blowing so many calories.

2:00p: 2.8 mile (1hr) walk with my Dad.

7:30p: tortilla chips, potato chips, guacamole, salsa, cantaloupe, blueberries, strawberries, mango sorbet, brownie, chocolate chip cookie, oatmeal raisin cookie = 563 calories Luckily I turned down dinner which would have been a burger or hot dog. Had I eaten that I would have been WAY over my calories for the day. Of course I should have used my calories more wisely than a bunch of dessert, but it was a graduation party for my friend!

10:00p: 2 cup lettuce, 1/4 cup black bean, 1/4 cup bell peppers, 1/4 cup mozzarella, 1 tbsp salsa = 128 calories

7:30a: 1 cup bran flake, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1 cup of milk = 228 calories

9:30a: kickboxing at the gym and core conditioning. Another great work out

11:30a: blueberry muffin = 259 calories

1:30p: mahi mahi wrap =  335 calories

4:00p: 2/3 cup cantaloupe,  4 pieces of sashimi, 4 pieces of sushi, Crunch Crisp = 418 calories Though delicious this was not the best lunch calorie-wise. I suppose it was really the mahi mahi wrap that was unneccisary. This should have been an either/or lunch, not both.

7:30p: 2 cups pasta shells w/ butter =  I was babysitting and this is what the kids had. I should have served myself then put the rest in the fridge. But instead I started by picking off their plates and then serving myself several times.

9:00p: Larabar = 180 calories This was completely unneccisary and it wasn’t even that good. I wasn’t really hungry when I ate it either. I just felt like eating.

I was a couple hundred calories over today. I need to learn to regulate my Saturdays better. Just because my routine is different doesn’t mean I can slide on my calorie intake.